It seems that someone at Zynga has been making out with the
Blarney Stone since last summer, turning the much-hated and normally insipid Facebook wall posts into fun-loving blurbs of witty puns and double entendres.
FrontierVille, especially, loves to talk dirty to players. This is followed closely by
Treasure Isle, which sometimes says the darndest things.
We've rounded up all the Zynga newsfeed amusements we could find for your viewing pleasure, so even those of you who don't play the games can judge for yourselves. See some of the most LOL-worthy (and groan-inducing) ones below:
Huge taters and excellent udders? Zynga sure knows how to compliment a pioneering gal!
As part of the
"Sure Beats Wrasslin' Steers fer a Livin'" goals, dear ol' Frontier Jack is letting his
niece Bess work on your farm. So what do you know about her? She's a redheaded, broken-hearted cowgirl who might have her eyes on
Hank while she's shacking up in your barn. Oh, and apparently, she's "Udderly Fantastic!" (there goes that word again...), which I guess, means she's, well,
really fantastic...
Isn't that illegal in most states?
Hey look -- those sacks sparkle in the sunlight!
All the better to shave Hank's Mighty Sacks with.
C'mon -- she needs it to finish the dance floor. Perv.
It's time for business cuz it's
business time.
Yeah, Monique says you've got a great ... inseam.
Monique must've tried to swim in the water tower again. I mean, what other explanation is there?
Monique needs some help, stat!
If you are offended by animal cruelty, there is a different way to look at this. And on a related note...
...this handshake scenario probably has nothing to do with cattle.
Here are some honorable mentions from other Zynga games:
From
Cafe World, which says David needs a bit of help in the sizing department.
From Treasure Isle, and if you get it, congrats, you win our 'Dirty Mind' award. If you don't get it, consult Google.
Isn't it great that instead of
playing dirty and talking nice, Zynga now plays nice and talks dirty? Next up! Pin-ups of FrontierVille's Miss Fanny Wildcat. RAWR! Who has the hots for teach? Ok, I kid.
I kid.